Homeschooling

Last school year I was only homeschooling Song. And that was enough. I have been homeschooling her since 1st grade. She's in 5th now. Not that I think the public schools are bad, I used to work in Special Education in a public school. I don't think they are set up to handle Song's needs though. There were automatic flush toilets, not good for a child who has bathroom fears/preoccupations. She also was getting her work done really quick in 1st grade, then annoying the other kids. Her desk and area around her desk was ALWAYS a mess. her name was always on the board. She was always in someone's space, always talking, having tantrums. Her teacher would send her work home for me to do with her. The last straw was when she drew a picture in Art class of a goat peeing, pooping, and having babies. That is when therapy began for her. Diagnosis: PTSD, RAD, suspected sexual abuse.

Pixie and Digger did first grade in public school. They had very different experiences. Pixie is a control freak, bossy, things don't bother her as much. It's like she doesn't care who likes her or not. She was taking things from other children in the class, little trinkets(these are her favorite things). She was still a foster child for us, but I easily got permission to homeschool her to give her the chance to bond here. It seemed there were too many hours at school, and not enough at home where we could be a family.

Digger has ADHD, but is a sweetheart. He has bonded, he knows we are his family. He was having trouble at school because he was getting bullied. He had a dark tooth, from an infant injury, he has speech problems, and he has big ears. I love his ears, they stick out. Other kids didn't like them very much. He was getting teased, had been hit twice the last week of 1st grade (once in the face with a schoolbag!). The child who was bullying lost part of recess. That was it.

After much consideration I decided they would both do 2nd grade at home with me. So far so good. there is noone for Pixie to manipulate. Digger is not getting bullied. We are building a new house on our land in a nearby town. Now I have to decide whether to try public school again for my littlest 2.

She LOOKS perfectly normal.....

This post is about Song. The reason I am writing it is that this week I have gotten feedback from two different people about her.

The first was at a skating event for homeschoolers. A woman who knew Song when she was with someone else as a foster child realized who we were, and said, "Oh........MY.....GOD.......great job".

The second person we met during a playdate at Burger King with friends. She observed Song with the other children and asked me if Song ever babysits. I told her that Song was only 10. She responded that she was so great with the smaller children. We spoke briefly and she asked when my friend and I would be there again with our children so SHE could bring her grandchildren.

In both cases I accepted the compliments without comment. What could I say? Thank you, she looks perfectly normal, but she gets in trouble for something or other at least 10 times a day? It would be true, but my goal here is NOT to embarass Song. Song is supervised every minute of every day, and although she doesn't scream in bathrooms anymore, she doesn't poop her pants, she doesn't scream at bedtime, nor throw furniture at me she is far from where we want her. Her behaviors now vary from inappropriate talk about boys, not following rules(today at the animal shelter I instructed them they could pet the cats, but NOT pick them up- she immediately went in and picked one up), hiding things in her room she is not supposed to have (flashlight at bedtime, other people's books, small trinkets that belong to Pixie) and eating food from others plates and even the trash. She isn't hungry. But because of where she came from, there is always this fear she will not have food.

A year or so ago, she was screaming that she did NOT want to do school work. So, I told her she didn't have to do it, but she ahd to tell me her plan for her future. "What plan?" she asked. I said, your plan for your future. Where you will live, How you will eat....

Her response was she would live under the bridge,get water and eat seaweed and fish from the river, and she was old enough to take care of herself and was tired of being treated like a baby. At lunchtime, I made a tuna hoagie. I saw her watching me. I set it down. She thought it was for her. I said "Oh that's mine, hold on, I'm making yours now". I went outside and got some grass. I took a cup and dipped it in the fishtank, and got some raw shrimp from the freezer. I put it on a lovely plate, and served her next to me. She said she wanted what I have, I told her sometimes it takes some time to get used to the kind of diet she wants to be on in the future, so i would help her get started now. She picked up the shrimp to eat it!! Of course I stopped her, and we talked about what choices she had made, and what might be better choices for her future.

The point is, It's an every day healing process for her. The good news is that SHE has joined in the fight for her healing. She IS attaching, but we won't be done anytime soon. When I told her of the compliments she has recieved this week, she smiled a huge smile, and then said "wow, noone ever said that kind of stuff to me before!" I love seeing that smile...:)

almost a year?!?

Has it really been almost a year since I last blogged?

Time sure flies when you're having fun..haha...

Update: We have adopted Pixie and Pumpkin! We now have 4 adopted children. Three are homeschooled for various reasons (will blog later on that). We continue to do foster care, but are being very specific about the age group and gender we will take as our 15 and 10 year could both very easily be manipulated.

Song (age 10) and Pumpkin(age 15) have both been diagnosed with PMDD. Expect one of my next blogs to be about THAT journey.