Who cares about the Government shutdown. I don't have time to go any where anyway.;)

What a year it has been!

I will start with our oldest and make my way down the list. Pumpkin has turned 18 and is now living in group home. Her behaviors have become aggressive in the home. She attacked me and threw my back out, gave me cuts and bruises, and kicked me in the face causing me to partially lose the hearing in my right ear. I pray it comes back, but am also so very grateful that it was ME that was hurt and not one of the other kiddos. I see her every week, mostly alone because Pixie is afraid of her, and Digger is mad at her. Song doesn't need the chaos.

Song did 6.5 months in the partial hospitalization school, and did  not achieve any of her goals. They think she may have either borderline personality disorder(as her bio mom has) or as if personality disorder. I immediately got her a mobile therapist. We have enrolled her back in public school, and she has an IEP now, so fingers crossed this will work for her. She has started telling lies again, even a lie that a certain boy at school raped her and she is pregnant. If I could punish the people who damaged this child, I would.

Pixie and Digger now attend a Christian school, and are thriving! Digger got 2 awards last school year; High Honors, and the Christian Stewardship award.

It has been a long year, and at times a lonely one. I have a great support system, including friends and family, but sometimes I selfishly want to just be me again, and work in a museum, attend classes, wear my dress clothes, drive alone in my car, go on vacation to another state to visit a history site, work on my genealogy. I know this is normal to feel this way when things are sometimes so out of control. But, here's what I know. I know tomorrow I will get out of bed and do this all again. Someone has to, or these four children will be lost. I am not just raising children, I am correcting wrongs that have been done to them. I am making them as whole as they can be. I want them to be more than they have been told they can be. My days are full of appointments, activities, family, taking care of my aging in laws, church, school, therapists, medication checks, driving etc....there is no time for me sometimes, but the museums will be there another day.

Third try is a charm? I hope!

Has it really been so long since my last post? That just tells you how busy I have been. First off, we sold our house in town, and built a new house on our 40 acres in the country. I also now have 3 grandchildren! and of course my kiddos keep me moving all the time. Update on Song: After a successful attempt at putting Digger and Pixie in to public school, we thought it was time for Song to spread her wings. (in other words, for me to kick her out of the nest and send her to public school as well)First attempt was the local public school. It was a disaster. She lied to me every day that she was doing well. I was getting emails every day from teachers that she was letting boys kiss her, late to class, not prepared, lost in the hall, passing notes, kicking boys under the table, and almost failing math because she was not paying attention. So, after 18 school days, I brought her back to home school. She is in 7th grade this year. In my mind I kept looking for the appropriate school for her. I found a small Christian school. On her day visit to the school, she told the girls she was pregnant, by a boy in the public school who raped her. It got her lots of attention, sent my husband over the edge until I told him she was lying, and to go get a pregnancy test so we could put the matter to rest. She is not pregnant, of course. My last attempt started yesterday. It's a local partial hospitalization school for kiddos with emotional and behavioral problems. They do intensive therapy, and then slowly transition her back to the public school. Next month we have a meeting with a psychiatrist who saw her when she was 5. He thinks she is causing problems so she can stay home where she feels safe. I think he may be right. He said us "pushing her" out the door and in to school is making her uneasy. I'm hoping the evaluation will answer the questions I have about wth she thinks she is going to achieve by acting this way. My guess is it's a combination of her Attachment disorder, and possibly a processing issue. Also, an interesting fact here...her bio brother has been diagnosed autism spectrum. Today she told me that in therapy they were asked about anxiety and what makes them anxious. She told them she is anxious when she can't see me. They then asked what calms you down, she said "being with my mom". This is not the path I meant to be on in my life, but I think it's exactly where I was supposed to be.