It's true, when you have a fifth it IS harder. Especially if the fifth is an autistic 11 year old girl.
Fifth has been with us since November. She will be leaving Friday to go to another foster home. Not because it is more work, which it totally IS, but because she hit my cat. HARD! We have a rule in our home that we do not, under any circumstances, take a child who will hurt our pets. When our other children are being emotional, they are not even allowed to TOUCH the pets.
Are children more important than pets? Absolutely. But, the pets were here first. We have a duty to protect them. If the children had been here first, we would not have pets because the first time they hurt them, we would rehome the pets.
They say that children of trauma should never be able to have any pets at all, under any circumstances, during their healing. I don't totally agree with this. But, having said that, you should know that children of trauma will sexually abuse your pet, they will hit your pet, and they may feed your pet something that it shouldn't have. Supervision is key. NEVER leave your pet alone with a traumatized child unless you are prepared for the possibility that your pet may be mistreated, or even killed.
I agree with everything your saying! I didn't know all this at the time I adopted two of the cats - and I almost had to return them because Penelope was "squeezing them to hear them cry" but we have a successful system in place and they have turned out to be beneficial to her. But my cat - that came first, well it was a hard road. I used to tell him (yes I talk to my cats) "Thank you for helping me with Penelope. I know she grows on your patience but you are doing the right thing!" He has bitten her a few times and she used to accuse me of loving him more than her but now they are bffs (ugh) and I'm just the lady he sometimes hangs out with.
ReplyDeleteI will admit I do have this funny sign in my bathroom that says "We had to get rid of the kids, the cats are allergic." Comic relief.