Triggers

There is a blue Victorian home in our town that Song's bio parents used to rent an apartment in. I know this is a trigger for Song. In therapy she has drawn pictures of big blue angry houses with lightening and thunder all around it. Sometimes the house is on fire. Sometimes she draws OUR family standing outside the house. She talks about a bathroom in the house. She has bathroom issues. Her therapists have all guessed that there was sexual abuse going on because of her behaviors. She was too little to really remember if anything did happen. I hope she never does.

Last week we had to drive past that house. It was unavoidable. I caught her hiding her face with her hand. I asked what she was doing. She said "I'm not looking, because I know if I look, I will act out". Points to her for realizing it, but it never stops the regression.

This morning I was putting away the laundry she folded. My clothes were all wrinkled in the basket. No, she isn't screaming, kicking, clawing and saying mean things to me. Her behaviors now are more passive aggressive. My clothing is rolled into a ball and put in the basket for me to find. She wants me to know she is mad at me for not saving her from the trauma she had when she was little.

Right now she is folding and refolding HER laundry. We will call this Home Ec in our homeschool log, or Lifeskills. Later we will talk about seeing the blue house and how it made her feel. But for now, I am enjoying the day "off" as a teacher she has given me.